Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
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Woke up the next morning in an 8 year old's bedroom. Saw my bra swinging from the spiderman ceiling fan and decided it would be best to dip out w/o it.
took some adderal to make my alochol withdrawl less shitty. now im just concentrating on how badly i need a drink
Woke up to my asscrack filled with melted Reese's Pieces. Halloween parties are so weird here man
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
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what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Which one of you drunk assholes put a parental lock on my cable box last night? More importantly, what's the pin? I'm missing the UK game.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
What do you mean? Just eat his food and have sex with him. Unless you want a relationship, then just eat his food.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
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