He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I had a dream that our used condom started talking to me. I told me that I did an amazing job, and told me that it saved me. From aids.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
She just asked what would happen if you put a vacuum in your butt and turned it on. These are our conversations.
Yo, how much weed can I get for a caf swipe?
My boobs keep hanging out of this shirt. I think thats the style I'm going for tonight
Know we haven't talked but having an orgy party on the 20th if you're interested. If not, disregard this text.
Who is this?
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
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