I used to have a blog that was basically all about ****** and all of his sexual misadventures
I mean it made tucker max look like a fucking alterboy
But unfortunatley his mom did a google search and found it
I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
On my way, five mins. Is the line long? Do you think they will they hold a pumpkin at coat check?
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
OMG OMG OMG Ive hit the penis jackpot
It seriously took everything in my power not to sleep with him
What did it come out and serenade you? Lol
It sang to me in the dark. It was magical
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
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