Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Blah blah blah. Just come home and put a baby in me.
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
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