if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
Ugh, here's a dating tip. Hairy legs are a major turn off
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
You need to braveheart it on Monday. Blue face paint and a loin cloth screaming freedom in your front yard.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
Randomize
