Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
my mom just used "raw dog" in a sentence correctly, time to move out.
It's a gift. Kind of like morning wood in my brain.
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
Remember don't think of it as being an alcoholic until something bad happens.
Think of it as Mythbusters for people who say you're going to get arrested or die
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
Lo siento on account of my penis...
How is someone going to pee on the floor two days in a row? Fuck this place.
It's official we're now working from home permanently. I'm getting paid to have sex and sandwiches. I hit the lottery.
Randomize
