did you get engaged???
awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
my sisters under your porch take her home
I feel like i'm in the derek zoolander school for kids who can't read good.
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
You asked me to pick a color between pink and purple, and I said orange; you told me, "okay, that's a truth question". Then you asked if I had ever deep-throated a cupcake...I didn't even know what to say.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
First dip in a brand new jar of Nutella, and my man’s dick are two things I will not fucking share.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
