He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I just remember telling jokes while vomitting
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
they knew we were both to shy to do anything so they got us drunk and locked us in the back yard with a tent. it was fuck or freeze
you have the best friends
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
u woke up and asked who took ur pants off then realized u did n almost cried over not gettin layed
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
They were playing some sort of fast food scavenger hunt game as an ice breaker. Some chick stamped a Starbucks logo on my hand and told me to go find the girl with the matching stamp and fill her with cream.
Dave had an Arby’s stamp and some sorority girl grabbed him and screamed “I’ve have the meat!”\n
Randomize
