capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
I haven't even gone in yet. I'm sitting in the waiting room playing a game i like to call "Who else is here for AA".
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
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I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
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