even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
You keep asking me questions like I have this magical thing called a memory
Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
I seriously had to check my phone this morning to make sure I didn't agree to any strange sexual favors.
He talked to you for like two seconds while you were shit faced doing Forest Gump impressions...how is that possible?
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
I have to be more responsible. I've dropped three lighters into my bong today.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
Randomize
