So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
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You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
I also found a beer label in my bra and I'm pretty sure you put it there and said "this means I trust you"
Her husband thinks she's banging me and nothing is going to change his mind so I told her we might as well just bang and make him right
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
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you can tell a lot about a person by the quality of their porn
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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