Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
what do 4 police cars, 1 ambulence, and 2 fire truycks have in common?.... My driveway
Go for the frenulum. Its like eating a popsicle. They go nuts with that shit.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
i must've hopped out the car and eaten some leaves...even when your'e drunk that's not acceptable
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
Randomize
