I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I dont know how to respond to your rave picture. I mean yeah, he's hot, but it just seems wrong to be like "Please tell me you fucked that guy with the pacifier!"
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
Just realized my relationship wasn't even Facebook official and I'd already cheated on him. 'Shitty girlfriend' is an understatement.
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
There's a super pregnant woman here complaining about back pain. I better not see a live birth in the hair care aisle
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