Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All of our toilets in my house are broken. Thank God I've practiced peeing in the sink enough.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
I know what you meant. If you want babies in time for your birthday, we gonna need either a time machine or a ski mask.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When she said "Tighten your safety belt and hold on!", that should have been a clear sign to me that one should never go off-roading in a rental car. On the bright side, they were able to tow her car out the next morning.
He held my hair back for me while i vomited in my driveway last night and i repayed him by farting mid-heave.
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
You punched me in the face while blackout. 20 min later I told you I'd been punched in the face and you yelled 'by who, imma go kill 'em!'
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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