3:38a: you guys up to anything right now?
I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
You three are like the Bermuda Triangle for morals.
By the way, thank you for feeding me fries when I was sitting on the floor.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
I want to be done crawling through windows but the sex is too good to stop...but I'm running out of excuses for where the bruises on my legs are coming from.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
I guess I'm in a committed relationship. We just had shot 1 of 3 of Gardasil. I'm now dead inside.
WHY DO YOU ALWAYS PUT THE PLUG IN THE SINK BEFORE YOU PUKE IN IT
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
Randomize
