I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
All I'm saying is that your next houseguest had better not barge in on me in the shower demanding I wash the stolen dye from his hair. I'm not doing that a second time.
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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