I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
She said she couldn't sleep with a guy who had blood stains on his ceiling. I tried to explain it wasn't my blood, but she still left :(
Dude. I knoww what ur thinking. Yes, your hand hurts. It's because you fell through a window. If and when you wake up, go to the hospital.
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
I put chex mix in your purse for when you get hungry while doing your walk of shame tomorrow!
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Banged a guy with 2 broken arms once. Top that
all I know is that I was naked, and there were cheeto puffs everywhere...
Randomize
