the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
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I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
I LEAVE YOU TWO ALONE FOR 45 MINUTES AND ALL MY WHIPPED CREAM AND CONDOMS ARE GONE
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
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My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
STOP PUTTING BUTTER ON MY FUCKING CAT
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
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