The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
this morning i woke up with my panties on and i knew where i was. success.
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
No, you don't understand. If the words "stop," "alcohol poisoning," and "regret" aren't in the same sentence by the end of the night, I will have failed this birthday.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
I'm high and dancing to practical magic. Your needs for my penis can wait.
Sorry about the Christmas balls dude. At the time I thought they were festive as fk but I see now I've just spent too much time on the internet
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
I had to cum in my sink.
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