And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
eww mummy girl is here...
what the fuckk. i just want to hold her down, wax her eyebrows, and give her some morals.
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
