I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
It really wasent that hard. The male one had a M and the woman one had a W. I just couldent comprehend that at the time.
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
also, made a drinking game out of my birthday photos....drink everytime alcohol is in a photo. going through all 350 of them.
Are you proud of yourself?
ask me again when I'm drunk. Then fuck off.
Do you guys think there will be a coke-for-Molly barder at bonnaroo?
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
I don't like pregnant me. I eat very large burritos, I don't like having sex and I can't even finish a Blue Moon.
Just had a customer call his drug dealer in front of me but act like it was normal call.
Is it weird to invite your FWB to thanksgiving dinner??
Randomize
