I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
Not even drunk me wanted to have sex with him. I kept intentionally hitting my head on the table behind me during sex till he said i was too drunk for sex.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I was paranoid that someone would jizz in my hair while I had the cucumbers over my eyes. Super-High Spa Day didnt work out.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I told her I was going to sleep early last night. I probably should not have sent that snapchat of us playing beer pong.
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
