chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd hate to be 100% hetero. Pretty sure they have less orgies
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
I just tried to snap you a picture of the CVS where we decided not to become parents.
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