My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
dude, your ex-bf is on match.com
details on that.
well, his profile doesn't say anything about herpes.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
Its official. Iv'e been kicked out of a bar in every state. I would like to take my job and travel time for allowing this to happen.
I don't have nearly enough visine for the dryness from sticking my head out the window on the freeway for 20 minutes. Child lock me next time.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
I mentioned your name at this party and some girl started crying.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Can I just swipe right on his dad?
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