We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
well on a positive note i hear those vitamins you take while pregnant do wonders for your nails
We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
All I remember is passing out with an umbrella over my head and waking up screaming bad luck for seven years
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
So I told him it takes a lot to get me drunk & he said he was the heavyweight champion in college. We high-fived. Obviously I'm the favorite child.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Not sure. He doesn't know where New York is on a map but he gives an incredible spanking.
Who cares about New York?
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
I got confused. The music was loud, porn was playing, people were grinding, there were hand jobs.
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