Just did the walk of shame across state lines...milestone?
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
Yes I slept with him, he was the only one not wearing a costume. Guys with costumes are just trying to impress you.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Are u alive? If u are, you deserve an award.
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
No I don't. You owe me sex and cinnamon rolls.
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