I am so fucking pissed, there are no Shamwows in the As Seen on TV Store.
Looks like you'll have to stick to jizzing in socks.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So, does it mean i'm loose if he can't even tell when he fell out?
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
we were all too drunk to realize that the cat wasnt yours
Then you got drunk and shit in her car. Nothing before that matters. She isn’t calling you back.
Randomize
