so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So then I sent a pic msg of the Magnum XL box to her friend
there is way too much butter on my body for this to be okay
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
like stop trying to get a relationship out of this when i'm clearly in the drunken mistakes part of my life.
you just knocked on the window of the ambulance and waved at me as we drove away
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
Ps I just used the "If you give a mouse a cookie" defense in a real life situation. Suck it
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
She was two things I dont understand: tall and Christian
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
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