I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
some guy just walked up to the bench i was on, backflipped off of it, gave me his number and walked away....i love this city
They have an open bar at this baby shower. I was born to be Cuban.
That's why you NEVER put anything a stripper gave you in your mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She looked at my facebook and decided to bump the security deposit up an extra 250...now we have to destroy the house, its expected and I wouldn't want to disappoint
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Doors open. I'm laying in bed watching caddy shack and drinking a vodka tonic.
And I'm out of vodka so bring vodka or 2013 will blow ass
Half way through sex he whispered in my ear, " your the second best I've ever had" then proceeded to tell me to sit on his face.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I just meant the frequency of your blow jobs on a flow chart wouldn't look too promising
My brother just text me asking if I was ready for the blowjob of my life.
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
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