Are we in a gay sports bar?
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
I think I pulled my groin stumbling back from the bar. That or the hippo I woke up next to.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Every time our eyes meet, I silently summon him to my vagina.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
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