I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
John Mayer's mother should have swallowed him when she had the chance.
As in blowjob or cannibalism?
I was thinking blowjob, but either would've been a better idea than giving him a record deal.
yea i came on her face and told her to bring a snorkel next time
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
After grabbing my boob for a couple minutes he then decides to ask me if I was awake.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
He thought he was ordering for the whole party so when he came back with thirty burritos and four of us were left, he wasn't happy
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
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