I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
When i walked in, you were in bed with a hot chick rolled up in a green blanket and said you were acting like a caterpillar..
I don't know if it was the room or her, but as soon as the pants came off, it smelt like a locker room and old man farts.
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
Nothing more ironic than raw dogging some random Asian hottie last night and then doing the walk of shame home from her place mixed in with the participants of the AIDS walk
If I remember correctly I tried to steal a mail truck last night
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
Randomize
