i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
There is booty call etiquette, and he just isn't following it. I'm not making you breakfast, gtfo.
I caved man... I fucked her so vigorously, desperately trying to correct her wonky eye. My determination was relentless.
You are a terrible person.
I just try to be optimistic...
I'M SO LONELY THAT I TEXTED THE FRESHMAN
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Fuck him and his perfect arms, huge penis and relentless ability to ignore me.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
