I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Those foam number one hands, are the BEST socks.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
I was blowing him while he was singing Happy Birthday to his girlfriend on the phone. I win.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
I walked in to you guys using a milk jug as a gravity bong
Surrounded by smaller versions of the same
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
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