arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
No you are right. With a nickname like Monster Cock, you shouldn't expect him to want to "just talk". I'd be insulted too
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Sorry, I was unaware dragging you upstairs for sex was such an awful thing.
Please assure him that the flying penis statue is for display purposes only.
Just busted the chick who slept with my boyfriend with alcohol. God I love being an RA.
I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
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