Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
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