I just had my first uncircumcised penis. I kept staring at it like the foreskin was going to fall off on its own.
i don't think you understand, blowjobs are like flowers for guys.
I know that was a dream because I woke up and there was no pizza
The hookers weren't a dream get tested
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
I just got back like 5 minutes ago, I have two champagne bottles that I carried with me on the train home and a Dunkin donuts coffee cup full of stolen butter, I've been in a windowless room for the last 6 hours, time does not exist
what is your life
Free champagne that's what
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
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