Alls I know is that his gf looked like Beyonce and he looked like Babar
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I spent my night drunkenly staring at a picture of John Stamos. How do you think I feel?
Im going to buy a thermometer. If its above 104 im going to the hospital if its under 104 im going to the bar
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
Why are my jeans soaking wet and smell like chlorine??
Bc u told a stranger in the hotel "I have sinned' and made him get into the hotel fountain and "baptize u". I've got a vid
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
