i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
She said I looked exactly like my dad. Then she made out with me. Should I be questionable?
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Who the fuck did i sell my right shoe to last night i need to get that back im not walking with one shoe on
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
Dude, he paid us overtime to smoke weed out of a bong at his house
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
Yes ma'am. I'm attracted to unconventional people, you know that.
True. I can't judge, half of my sexual partners I only know a false first name & a number. We all have our kinks.
Verdict: uncircumcised.
Randomize
