I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
only if we run a train.
done.
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
Not going to lie- I'm a little freaked out camping right now. This is one of those high activities you don't do by yourselves...or close to bears
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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