Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
I just spilled grey goose in my hair. You could say I keep it classy for the family Christmas parties.
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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