Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I chugged a bottle of robotussein and i ducking saw a blind lady on a purch sewing a shirt! And a tree portal
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
Even his old football coach jokes about how big it is. I don't want to be alone in a room with him and that monster.
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Don't worry, I'm not gonna try making you Eskimo sisters with your mom
Randomize
