When my options for Friday night are being a 3rd wheel or bringing a gay man as my date i need to focus on other things in life like having a successful career.
There need to be more gay people on my afternoon soaps.
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
i hope kanye doesn't show up to patrick swayze's funeral. " i'll let you get back to your funeral in a minute...but michael jackson had the best death of the year. just sayinnn ".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
It's official drugs can't kill me
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I sign my lease Thursday, I'm about to be released back into the wild.
I'll make missing person signs.
You're a good friend.
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
Wanna go on a picnic?
... by picnic I mean wanna sit on a blanket and drink with me?
I am really drunk and also a zombie.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize