i really thought "pants-shitting drunk" was an unreachable level until last night
I'm playing the Jersey Shore drinking game by myself at my mom's house. Things like this are not okay after college.
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
I just used a baby fork as a roach clip. I am totally the cool aunt.
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just to clear things up, yes you did lick the strippers butt
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP ππππ
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