i think my tv is drunk
Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
He's been grabbing my ass as a greeting since 2004, sex was overdue
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
We told our cab driver we'd give him 3 grand if he pit maneuvered you guys in your cab.
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
I just moved 6 traffic cones blocking a row of traffic. I got applause.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
