All drunkenness aside, confirm u are alive
the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
This girl just stopped in the middle of a sentence because of my blue eyes. She said she got lost in them. I am laying pipe tonight.
Something about getting head on stairs. I don't know.
I just had a flashback of 4:30am: me hugging the toilet bowl and you handing me a jar of pickles to open. There is something seriously wrong with us.
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
HOLD ONTO YOUR PANTIES AND SAY GOODBYE TO THE REMAINDER OF YOUR INTEGRITY
Everyone should know the rule that if your dicks touch during a threeway you just make lightsaber noises and move on.
Lift me 50ft in the air like a tow truck but with your penis
How high are you exactly
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
