If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
Vodka and tater tots have managed to satisfy me more than most of the guys I've slept with.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We can only continue to use the "oh what's the difference between circumcised and uncircumcised" for a few more months before people will see through our lies
I was just informed that I asked for a glass of wine at the police station
I'm sure it would have gone very well with the cigarette you lit there.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
Randomize
