hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
You going out tonight?
No I am at the hospital. Throwing up blood is apparently frowned upon.
He told me the hand job I gave him this morning was "lovely".
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
speaking of graduation plans, i'm blacked out eating sausage
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
just found a someones bra in what seems to be a mix of pickle juice and vodka in my fridge. Who was over here lately?
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Randomize
