i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
He gave me a book last time I slept there. Im beginning to feel like a really weird hooker. Like instead of money he gives me random shit he has lying around. like hamburger buns
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
Speaking is such a hard concept right now
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
