Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the cop cuffed us all with 40's still taped to our hands
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
if masturbating while stoned isn't called "weed whacking" then i just don't know how to live my life anymore
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
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