carls jr on main st. japanese tourist taking a dump in the urinal. reading a japanese newspaper and wearing a full suit.
be there in 3 mins
it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
Ended the weekend putting away 30 nuggets. Training for 100.
Under someone's bed. Not sure whose. I think they're sleeping in it.
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
i woke up this morning with a fake eyeball in my pocket
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Randomize
