Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
I know how I'm going to make my fortune.. designing an icepack made specifically for the vagina.
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
Well you should have thought of that before you were reckless with your butt
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
Remember when we got high off our ass and you talked me into running in place then punched me in the face and said it was a wall?
Ya, you were bleeding for an hour and a half
Randomize
