dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
time to smoke my breakfast
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
Ever have a poop and think... that has no business coming out of a human? Like it looks like a sick dog's or a ferral animal's?
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
Welcome to stoned Saturday. Full of laser tag and beyonce and awesome
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
My roommate told me he found me naked in the shower puking and when he asked why I was naked I said "you can't wear clothes in a shower"
I wanna get a tattoo next to my tattoo that says, my ex did this so don't fucking ask
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
Please clarify that he is speaking of beer pong and not rough sex
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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