i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
All I know is that I woke up in a soccer players' dorm, and he said that I kept telling him my mouth was a "net for his balls" last night at the bar..
I am never taking a razor down there again. He'll have to love me as I am.
He has an accent, blue cross AND gainful employment. Just saying, he's going to urgent care once I'm done with him
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Randomize
