she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
he said 'i want to be the peanut butter to your jelly, just without the crust' and then tried to take me shirt off
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
Sean getting laid is an anomaly, Sean banging the hottest single girl at the wedding is a fucking unicorn being ridden by a leprechaun walking through mordor.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
It's okay I missed my booty call by two whole minutes so I decided to delete him from my phone and then re-add him as "I am a douchelord"
It's midsummers eve. A.k.a. come over so we can get drunk and wear leaf crowns
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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