You're only the seventh guy she's ever kissed. Somesones gunna get EPICALLY stalked
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My roomate asked me why she found condoms in the pringles container. I don't know what to tell her
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
Would be fun, plus since its in public I'll keep my penis in my pants
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
I have a fantastic sense of humor but being called a merman isn't funny
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
That moment when your fucking in an airport bathroom and forget to lock the door. That poor man...scarred forever...
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
