no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
His penis is small and he doesnt like Harry Potter. HE HAS NO REDEEMING QUALITIES WHAT AM I EVEN DOING HERE
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
No, it's cool, I just bounced from the hospital. I was...talking to a security guard, maybe?
You might have been able to redeem yourself had you not referred to grandma as "this bitch".
That explains the hand print on my face. That old lady knows how to throw a punch.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Update: tequila girl had her hand down groomsmen pants
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
