TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
I just texted him and asked him to keep some in case I need help sealing the deal.
Girl Scout cookies are like roofies for fat chicks.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
