At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
You should've stopped drinking when you started asking people for bites of tequila.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
meanwhile at my house I found 2 bud heavys in the back of my book shelf crammed between a Franklin book and goodnight moon
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
