ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
Well sundance is in town and Im going to use my one and only shot to bang Taylor swift... Does it count as a random if shes famous?
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
She answered the door wearing a basket, said it was the only clean thing she had.
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
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